The Paradox of Space Amidst Chaos
We’re about a month into our shifting experience, and let’s get real: sometimes it’s just really hard. It can feel really crazy and uncomfortable. I saw a number of posts this past week about friends having a difficult time. I spoke with many who echoed what was written; as well as coming across the notion of decreased expected productivity levels throughout multiple media platforms. As I work with my own waves of emotion and reaction to the vastly different reality we’ve entered as a collective in these recent weeks, I’ve been observing the equalizing nature of massive change.
Deepak Chopra said “All great changes are preceded by chaos.” We have all been left to grapple with the disruption, regardless of where we were in our lives leading up to it. We are all trying to do the same thing: find ways to adjust and get comfortable with a lot of discomfort and upheaval. There is no “on/off” switch to this chaos. We are likely to find ourselves here for some time, and we know the world will never be the same as it was when we finally do begin to emerge.
Change is a result of adjusted value and intention, which often clarifies direction through simplified perspective. We are living in a time of incredible recalibration. We as a species have suddenly had to consolidate our priorities, which naturally creates voids and space in our not-so-distant highly-scheduled previous lives. In other words, we miss all the stuff we used to fill our lives with.
Think of it this way: You are being sent on a trip. You have been given only one bag, and you have no other option. As you pack, you mindfully select items. You realize you have too many items to allow the bag to close, so you must make some decisions. You lay all the items out on the bed, and then eliminate a few, keeping what you think you absolutely need. This naturally leaves holes, which you then consolidate, decreasing the surface area and increasing the intention for each of the items which remain. You still might not be able to close that bag, so you have to keep letting go of items until they fit easily. Such is the nature of the concepts of minimalism and simplification, as we noted in last spring’s influx in the concept of “decluttering,” brought to light by people like Marie Kondo. This simplification allows us to reconsider what we think we actually “need,” and learn the art and skill of “making do.”
We are feeling the spaces left by the voids in our lives: missing our former routines, relationships, interactions, and activities. We are also physically spread out from each other. We have literally been told to stay 6 feet apart. To limit our physical interactions and movement. To stay home. Our lives have slowed down, and we miss the activities and interactions which filled our days and nights not so long ago. Space has taken up residence in our once bustling social lives. Paradoxically, some of us are now closer than ever to those we live with; or if we are alone, we are forced to be our own company. To sit with ourselves; possibly after a lifetime of distraction and avoidance.
Wherever we were in our lives when this shift occurred presented us with challenges unique to our individual situation; as well as still having to face the collective challenges like isolation and a reduced environment in which we are able to move about. Those of us who continue to report to essential operations are doing so in less congestion, while we have all noted the environmental impacts of slowed and re-directed global industry. Many of us are missing touch and connection with others. Since we are a species which thrives in community and relationship, these are major disturbances to our reality; yet we look outside and the world seems safe. We cannot see the disruptive force, but we are feeling the effects with our entire being. It is disorienting to say the least. Personally, when I feel overwhelmed and upset, I use the intensity of emotional moments to catch my attention. I then remind myself that my set of challenges in recent months has placed me at a point where my productivity in comparison to others is probably less than average, but that doesn’t mean I have lost value overall. When I begin to feel the critical nature of comparison sneaking into my life, I become even less productive as guilt and shame begin to make their rounds.
“I should be doing more” is a phrase I have been working to make peace with. For years I have been working to become as unapologetic as possible, owning the decisions I make and maintaining firm, purposeful boundaries. I find the unquestionable relevance these days as I unapologetically take the time and space I need to get things done in the order which is relevant to me as I adapt to the new world. In comparison to others, I probably need a little more time and rest than many. Others may need less or more, but when it comes down to it, what does that really matter when it comes to taking care of my own physical and emotional health? By working on balance and practicing intentional gratitude, I stay in my individual moment-by-moment reality, freed from comparison to others and actually better aiding my own recalibration in the process.
The nature of paradox is found in contradiction, where multiple realities manifest beyond our abilities of comprehension. Paradoxes are the balance points found between chaos and order. They are potential energy, which we as human beings have the unique ability to influence through the simplicity of our intentions. From a paradox, multiple outcomes and pathways of reality are possible. This paradox offers us the opportunity to intentionally take up the space and time we need on an individual basis. We can take comfort in the fact that everyone is feeling their way in the dark through uncharted territory. For those of us suddenly in close quarters, we can use this opportunity to set and model boundaries, which we place when we set our personal intentions. The notion of “spreading out” can empower us on an individual level. We can choose to flounder in the lack of movement, or we can more mindfully inhabit more of our own space with purpose and intention.
In our lifetime, there has never been a safer time to explore the freeing experience of unapologetically inhabiting the space of our individual lives. Enjoy it. In maintaining space from others, take up the full breadth of your own space. Fill the empty spaces by looking inward and deciding what is meaningful to you, what brings you joy, and what you want to bring into your life going forward. Breathe in the freedom and scope of personal exploration which comes as a result of spreading out from one another. Intentionally take up your own space. We’ve been told to, after all.